Well the holidays are long over and the tree has finally be put away. the only remains is the one lone ornament that was missed on the tree, it now finds its restin place in my jewelery box drawer. It finds it home there because it is old. I got it probably 30 years ago from my cousins. Its a glass wreath with gold words hanging in the middle, love peace and joy. It hold memories when touched of years gone by, of traditions passes on to generations, to come.
Tomorrow is January 17th and is the 14th anniversary if you will of my Grandpas death. I have so many regrets when it comes to Grandpa, I feel guilty for not going to see him more, for him not being able to be at my wedding. That I cant sit with him out by the Fox Hound pens and drink fresca anymore. I regret that Ashlee never got to know him. I don't think I will ever forget that day. Jan 17 , 1997 , it was 4pm and mom had went to town for some reason with Tommy. I was sitting in my living room watching the Oprah show . Dan was at work. Harlan opened the door stepped inside and said "Howard Brookover has died. ' My world turned black. Was he anypart of my flesh and blood. No. Was he the only Grandpa i ever knew? Yes.
No he cant be dead, I didn't get to say goodbye Why didn't I go see him in the hospital.? he only had pnemonia I will see him when he gets out. I was tired. Don't know why I wasn't working anywhere, I had quite last year to try and have a baby. No i need one more hug. I want to hear him laugh one more time. I want to tease him about his big toe and take him one more monkey. to hear grandma tell him to turn the light on the electric bill is paid.
But it was not to be. the next day was my birthday. No i did not want to celebrate, Dans family tried everything to get me in good spirits but to no avail. I spent days crying and here we are 14 years later and I still miss him like it was yesterday.
God watch over my family and keep us in your care.
