i am starting this blog because i need a place to write my thoughts. Its been almost 14 months since my mom died and sometimes I feel like I will go crazy. I feel like the world is laughing at me because I still cry. Something good happens to me and I still find myself wanting to run and call Mom to tell her. I have yet to actually dial the number to her house for that however I have come close a couple of times. My husband, daughter and I live next door to her house. I call it her house when actually my Dad and older brother is still there. I have lived on this farm my entire life. I see her in every room and all over the yard. Sometimes when i listen closely i can almost hear her talking. I don't want to burden my family with my thoughts of lonliness but I am lonely. I would come home from work everyday and check on Mom and Dad. I still check on Dad but i sit there looking at the chair Mom sat in and think to myself why. Cancer is such an ugly disease. Noone should have to die that way.
today i spent 9 hours at the hospital while one of my sister had surgery. The surgery was to remove an ovarian tumor. Cancer yet again has stricken one of my family.
I trust God to take care of my family. Proverbs 3:5&6 says
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all ways acknowledge him and he will make your pathways straight.

Thank ful for that. i love the Lord and could not get through a day with out him.