Twas the night before Christmas Eve.

Twas the Night before Christmas Eve, The pies have been made , rice krispy treats are done and the Ham is ready to be baked. They turkey is ready for cooking and me. I am sitting here dreading the fact that I have to work tomorrow and wont get to help cook any of it. My dad has oppted to wait til I get home to eat at least then we will exchange gifts. Our gifts are wrapped an most are under the tree. God is so amazing we have what we need for everyday.

The phone has just bad news Dans sister has had two heart attacks today. She is in ICU. Six years ago we lost his mother on the 18th of December and had her funeral on the 21st of December. I hope that LInda will be okay. So much sickness, cancer, heartattcks, makes you
kinda wonder why but then I know that God does not want us to question him. So I pray the he is with us all daily

Whats your favorite Christmas Memory

I love Christmas stories, I have been thinking a lot this year about christmas's past. I have been trying to figure out what is my very first Christmas Memory. I seem to want to remember every aspect of Christmas. Somehow Its like I want to relive every thing that I have done. maybe its because I miss my Mom so much. I rememmmmber her saying that all she wanted for Christmas was a day of peace and quiet. After I got married and Had Ashlee we started having Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with His family. That way the kids could play with there toys. One year Christmas was on a Sunday we went to Church and then stayed home for the rest of the day I was one of the best Christmas I remember having.
We started some of our own traditions one of which is opening presents one person at a time. So that we can all see the expressions on their faces. We also make Christmas Cinnamon rolls every year for breakfast. Last year was a long day. Missing mom I hope this year will be better.

God thank you for being with me through everything..

Memories

Christmas Memories , there are so many but what is the first one I have. I find myself trying to figure that out. I remember getting a Mash 4077 play set with the entire unit including figures of the people. I remember getting lincoln logs, I dont remember how old I was when i got them. I remember getting the Sears Wish Book every year and Mom would have us go through it and circle 3 things that we wanted, that didn't mean that we would get them but it gave her ideas. One year I wanteda city. It had streets, houses, shrubs, flowers people cars everrything that a city would have. I remember opening it on Christmas Morning So excited. That afternoon we tried to put it together. It was all made out of cardboard (we did not relize this when I marked it in the book) it was impossible to put together after hours of trying we gave up. Never did get to play with that. Don't remember where it ever went to. I didn't like to play with Barbie dolls but one year I got a Barbie pool and Cabana set. Played with it only a few times then passed it down to my niece. Always wanted a telescope, never got that.
Christmas Dinners, and opening presents. Traditions of homemade popcorn balls and candies,
spendingtime together is the best memories. I love my family.

lack of money

Wonder why when both my husband I both work full time we have not the money to do the things that need done. Oh how sometimes I wish that I could go out to eat more than we do, to Go see a movie more than once in a blue moon, to not wonder why others have more money than they need and others have not nearly enough. I wonder how we will ever pay for all the medical bills that we have and how we will ever pay for college for our daughter. This week its hard to see how we will pay for the food we need to purchase . Nothing to much just , milk, bread, eggs, flour and something to make lunch sandwiches out of. It will be okay i know because God has told us that he will not give us more than we can handle. He also told us that he would supplie our needs . We need only to ask. He is amazing. i dont know if anyone else reads this blog. I think maybe its just my place to write my pep talks. LOL. how is the world. It is a sad situation and Heaven is a wonderful place. I am striving to get there someday.

MOm i know that you are there.in heaven,, My friend Daisy is there now too. I hope that you both are loving it. God I love you. Jesus thank you for dieing for me.

Holiday Season

Seems crazy that it is time once again for the Christmas . This will be the second one without Mom. I feel a little more with the holiday spirit this year. I am sure that my mom would not want me or any of us to quit living. I am sure that my dad is missing her like there is no tomorrow. I feel like he is failing in health but then I wonder if it is just missing mom. The responsiblility of taking care of family is huge on my mind. I wish that everyone could just get a long all the time. But that would be a fantasy right.

A teenage daughter

It is offical my child is a teen ager. Yikes when did that happen. Seems to me it must have been when I was blinking or maybe it was while I was taking a nap. She is starting to show so many talents and gifts. She wants to be an artist. She has always been drawn to color and design. For this birthday she got oil paints and brushes, we had to run out an by canvases. She has painted a beautiful picture of a flower. A close up really, I am almost scared to blink again she might just be walking down the aisle or graduating from college. Lord I pray that you would always keep her in your loving hands . Don't let her fall to hard from the lessons that she must learn. Help her to do right and walk away from wrong. Father she is your child and I trust you to watch over her when I can not be there myself. Guide and direct her life and path Lord. Surround her with true friends and love

SPARE THE ROD

SO the Bible says spare the rod and spoil the child. I fear that we have spared to rod to long. I feel like my child is trying to run the house. Everyone tells me that she is a great kid and I know that she is . I just wish she didn't try to push the buttons as they say with her dad and I . She is almost 13 and I know that is a hard age to be. I can handle most all of the things that she does but the constant back talk. I don't want her growing up and end up hating me. I want her to grow up to be a help to society , to be respectful. That's a hard thing to teach in this day and age . Respect.
Tonight we grounded her for 2 weeks no computer, or texting her friends. I almost feel guilty to take them away from her but Lessons in life must be learn some of them harder than others. I remember fighting with my mom and being mad at her. I knew that she loved ;me and i don't think i have any scares from punishment
Lord I ask that you give me wisdom and also to my husband wisdom in the way to raise our daughter. Give us strenght to not be discouraged and to stand firm , to not back down.

GROWING UP

Do you remember growing up. The best friend that you ever had and wait a minute your fighting. People are telling you lies and calling you names. They are trying to drive a wedge between you and your friend, you have to figure out what is the truth, you cry, hurt, and eventually forgive. The hardest part is knowing that you have to forgive those who have done you wrong. It is so hard to do but the reward is great. you find a feeling of lightness when you let it go when you forgive. maybe just maybe they never talk to you again but it was okay. You thought you where going to die from loneliness but you didn't you survived and today you are a stronger person for it. Somehow you have managed to go through life with out those you have hurt you. the teen age drama be hind and nwo you watch and wait and know that i will happen again this time to your child. you will try to help but in the end you must teach forgiveness

we have a wonderful teacher of forgiveness His name is Jesus and he want to forgive us. He wants us to lean on him in times of trouble and tormoil. and he wants to show you how to forgive

BE THANKFUL

ok so when you think everything that could go wrong in your life has , God shows you that you could have it worse. you could have no one to hold your hand here on earth, no one to listen to you. no one to share your life with and no savior. He shows you that your life really isn't all that bad after all. you can walk , talk, breath, sing ,dance and watch the many wonders of this world. you may feel pain in your legs but be thankful that you can feel pain, you may not be able to find a comfortable place to sleep in your bed but you have a bed again be thankful. you may wish that you had steak instead of a hamburger but be thankful that you have food to eat. your clothes may not be designer or brand new but they are clean and they fit your. be thankful. the house that you live in may feel like it is going to fall around you but at least you have a house.
sometimes life throws you punches that you don't have time to duckaway from. bills become unmanageable and health will start to fail. but you have a father in heaven who is waiting for you to call on him to come to your side and help you. he sent his son Jesus Christ to die for you so that you could have eternallife and never die. he never said that you would not have trouble he said he would never give you ;more than you can bear

i wonder sometimes why people do the things they do then i realize that its because they are just that people. They have free will and do many things that i am sure that God would not want us to do. sometimes life is so confusing. i am so tired to day that it actually hurts my head to think. i try to sleep but somehow i wake up just as tired as i was when i went to sleep. then i see these people who do nothng all day and stay up all night on computer watching tv and i wonder why they have so much energy.
i am pretty sure this blog will not make any sense because im sure i dont have any left

It has been a long day. Vacation bible school this week . Having a lot of fun but so thankful that we are only doing a 3 day one. Our final program will be at our ice cream social. We have only had 12 kids but we are having fun and if we can plant the seed in 1 water the seed in one and save one then we are doing great. Tomarrow night is a great lesson about what Jesus has done for us. i can hardly wait for the kids to learn this one. Somelhow i think it wll be awesome.
I am so thank ful to have Jesus Christ as my savior. I love the Lord and I know that he loves me.

long summer days, quiet summer nights. Do you ever wish that summer lasted all year? this year i would have to say heck no i think this summer has been all too hot. i sometimes try to imagine a place where the weather is perfect all year long average temp is a wonderful 75 degrees. i cant see it in my mind because i have always lived in a place with cold winter hot summers short falls and springs but its home so i will live with it.
When i get to heaven i wont have to worry about it. i wont have to be hot or cold i wont hurt , cry or any of the other things we do here on earth.

I have a long week coming up. I am in charge of my church's vbs this year. I have always helped before. I hope that everything goes well and that the children leave with a seed planted that will make them want to serve the Lord. To have one child saved would be awsome. I so want to follow what God has planned for me. I know that i continually fall short, I stand deep in the need of prayer and I am thankful for those that pray for me.

So many things seem to be building stress in my life. Bills that need paid, i know just like the rest of the world right. Wonder why the rich are so powerful and why they think it all right to look down on those that are not rich. The prices of food, rent, clothing, household supplies, gasoline, electricity, heating and cooling cost. just the very things that we use on a daily bases is getting so out of hand that more and more of us could find ourselves going with out our basic needs. Our government helping or hindering. They continue to give to the rich and take from the poor and middle class (what ever that is these days.) Poverty is expanding and virtues and disappearing. Caring for our neighbors is almost a thing of the past in this hurried society. We need to go back to the days when we helped each other and went out of our way to care for the sick and elderly.
Now we want praise and glory when we do good and don't' want to be associated with any thing bad.
where did we loose our faith in God when did this country founded as one nation under God . with liberty and justice. We need to come toGether in Prayer for our Country and we could begin to bring those things wrong with this country and well world back in to line with what God wants for us.

May the Lord Bless You and keep you in all ways. Love him and praise him in all things and pray continuely ABOUT ALL THINGS.

I have a theory that most people don't know how to deal with the truth. May be its because they have never been able to tell the truth , they in fact seem to run from the truth. Maybe i think to much about it but in the condition of our great country i sometimes wonder where we will ever again find the truth. politician feed us lies to promote themselves so they can get into offices where they then play havoc with our very lives. they say that they will make things better (untruth #1 ) then carry out making things far worse. point being the fiasco thing we call health care for all. The poor man keeps getting poorer and the rich getting richer. Children who may loose there insurance provided by parents because the companies can they work for can no longer afford to offer it to anyone except the employees of that companies. Payment for insurance have double and in some cases tripled and the cost of health care keeps going up. out of pocket deductibles keep getting bigger and paychecks keep getting smaller. It becomes a choice health care or home and food. Which do you choose and then they tell us we have no choice that we have to have insurance by a deadline date or be fined. Well if we could afford the insurance in the first place we would have. it! TRUTH HARD TO HEAR ISN'T IT

LORD I THANK YOU THAT YOU ALWAYS GIVE US THE TRUTH AND LOVE AND GRACE. '
PROVERBS 3:5 TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING

why do weekends always seem so short? better yet why do workweeks always feel so long. i like my job but i feel like i will never get caught up. i wish that weekends lasted longer. i love spending with my family and friends. i love the fellowship of our church. hearing the word of God is wonderful. todays sermon was good. prayer and music. i sometimes get so much more from the songs than the preaching.

i cant help but wonder why the cost of health care is so out rageous. today i found out that my health insuarance is taking a huge hike. so much for having any extra money to have a life with. how are we supposed to be healthy when we cant affordd to eat healthy. it makes me wonder for those who don't have jobs how they are able to live. I have a home to live in and a car to drive. i have insurance (be it ever so expensive) but the rising cost of living in this country has gone crazy. Two people working full time and still barely getting by. doesn't seem right to me.
i cant help but wonder what i am doing wrong. what have i missed. when did the solution pass me by and why cant i go back and find it.
i find myself thinking of the way life was before i was born. in the 50's when life seemed to be simpler. when we didnt' want for electronics, movies , air conditioning, computers. all the things taht we have to day that we think we cant live without. Would it not be so nice to go back, back to a time when people visited on front porches, drank lemonade and ate homemade chocolate cake. when milk and soda come in glass (recycable) bottles. when families gathered around the radio to listen and mom stayed home to be a mom. When food was cooked with love and time and not from a cardboard box. when a treat was going to the general store and having an ice cold coke at the drug store. A time when the barber was your friend and your neighbor helped you fix the roof of your barn and didn't expect a paycheck for it, because he knew you would help him in return. Back to a time when kids walked to school and did chores before running out to play with neighborhood kids til mom called them in at dinner. To a simpler time when families read the Bible and tried to live by its words. When they went to church together and invited the preacher and his family to sunday dinner Oh the simpler times that have passed us by for a hussle and bussle of life in the super fast lane.

Lord i know that you wont ever give us more than we can handle. Sometimes i don't think i can handle much more but thank you Lord that you help me through daily. I love you lord.

I wonder why it is that when the rest of the world seems to have no problems I feel like I am being bombarded by trouble. It seems like every where i turn in my family some one is sick.
The car is breaking down, the house needs repair , shower wont turn on and the sink wont quit dripping. Far from far but it is the life that i have and as far as i can tell the life that I will have.

I am so thankful that I have a Lord who cares for me. Sometimes when I feel alone I smile because I have been saved. I never have to face death hell or the grave. I know that when I die I will go home To my real home > My mansion in the Sky. I will reunite with my mom and all my loved ones that have got there before me. I wont have to worry anymore. and I wont ever hurt again!

Lord God I am so thankful that you love me. This is my story and you are the best part of it all.

i am starting this blog because i need a place to write my thoughts. Its been almost 14 months since my mom died and sometimes I feel like I will go crazy. I feel like the world is laughing at me because I still cry. Something good happens to me and I still find myself wanting to run and call Mom to tell her. I have yet to actually dial the number to her house for that however I have come close a couple of times. My husband, daughter and I live next door to her house. I call it her house when actually my Dad and older brother is still there. I have lived on this farm my entire life. I see her in every room and all over the yard. Sometimes when i listen closely i can almost hear her talking. I don't want to burden my family with my thoughts of lonliness but I am lonely. I would come home from work everyday and check on Mom and Dad. I still check on Dad but i sit there looking at the chair Mom sat in and think to myself why. Cancer is such an ugly disease. Noone should have to die that way.
today i spent 9 hours at the hospital while one of my sister had surgery. The surgery was to remove an ovarian tumor. Cancer yet again has stricken one of my family.
I trust God to take care of my family. Proverbs 3:5&6 says
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all ways acknowledge him and he will make your pathways straight.

Thank ful for that. i love the Lord and could not get through a day with out him.